Word-bites
Scripture Reading: Galatians 5:13-15

Today’s Treasure: “If you keep biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other” (Galatians 5:15).

Years ago we had to give our beloved dachshund, Coney, to an elderly couple because she bit small children.  When she bit the first child, Keith warned me that a second bite would mean she had to go.  Needless to say, she bit again.  We cried, but Keith stood firm.  He explained that once a dog saw how quickly someone would retreat with a bite, it could rapidly form a habit we couldn’t count on breaking.  I am convinced that “biting and devouring” in relationships is also rapidly habit forming, particularly if, like Coney, the biter gets the desired reaction.

Keith and I used to bite and devour each other with words during heated conflicts.  In fact, I’m sure each of us still has a scar or two from an old bite.  By that I mean something said that hurt badly enough not to be forgotten. 

Back then, Keith could win a fight with his temper while I could win a fight with my words.  Needless to say, neither was a win.  At least one of us was always left emotionally bloody.  I vividly recall him saying to me, “You may say it better, but that doesn’t make you right.”  I was convicted to the core.  Somewhere along the way Keith and I no longer got any satisfaction out of hurting each other.  Today if one of us thinks we’ve hurt the other’s feelings, we’re sick at heart until we’re forgiven. 

Keith and I had to talk some of the scars out many years after the actual bite.  Often the other had no idea the words still echoed.  I have scars from other word-bites I’m not in a position to talk out with the biter.  Those require the healing balm of Christ alone.  You may feel silly talking to Him about something said years ago, but keep in mind that He knows you well enough to be fully aware it’s still an issue.

Word-bites are probably most common within family walls.  We think relatives will love us enough to keep putting up with them.  Biting and devouring one another is an unhealthy and miserable way to live.  We don’t need to just keep putting up with it.  We need to be healed.

To heal permanently, however, we have to break old habits and make new ones.  I was impressed recently by a mom who came to the end of her rope with some biting and devouring in her home.  She announced to her family that they were about to form new habits of communication.  She explained that, of course, they’d still disagree, but they could find less destructive ways to do it.  They discussed as a family what a few of those less destructive ways would be and drew up a set of game rules.  A few days ago, she told me they were on day 18 of practicing new forms of communication.  How wise for her to treat verbal biting like the addiction it is! 

Lord, I’ve been on both sides of the fence when it comes to word-bites.  I have inflicted and received scars.  Using my words to injure another person is a quick, yet cowardly way to get what I want.  Please help me break this terrible habit.  Replace the sinful satisfaction with conviction.  Please teach me new, constructive ways to deal with disagreements.  I want to please You with my words.  Lord, I know You see all the scars I have.  Each time I remember them it hurts all over again.  I earnestly ask to be made whole.  In the healing name of Jesus, Amen. 

Adapted from Daniel, by Beth Moore, pages 56-57.  Nashville: LifeWay Press, 2006.  Used by permission.