 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
||
|
The Child of Desperation Today’s Treasure: “Surely my husband will love me now” (Genesis 29:32). The human psyche requires love for wholeness. That’s a fact of life. Self-love won’t cut it. Unfortunately, we are born into a world with no guarantee we’ll be loved. We’re all desperate for love, but in some seasons of our lives we become convinced we must have a certain person’s love to be complete. That person doesn’t have to be a spouse or a romantic interest. He or she may be a parent, a relative, a neighbor, a church member, a mentor, or a peer. I have painful memories of adolescent desperation for my peers to love and accept me. I was (often unfortunately) able to get the guy, but I was desperate for real and trusting female friendships. My desperation finally became the life-gift that led me to a passionate relationship with Jesus. However, if desperation doesn’t birth a passion for Him, it will birth something else. The troubled child of desperation is obsession. Leah was desperate for Jacob’s love, so she became obsessed with having his children. If untreated by the love of God, desperation gives birth to obsession. Invariably we learn what Leah discovered. Obsession neither heals desperation nor fills its lack. The statements Leah made are like mirrors reflecting her heart. They reveal a very private process she experienced emotionally. “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” But he didn’t. Through the birth of her second child, Leah’s emotional processing brought her to: “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, He gave me this one too.” In other words, Jacob still didn’t love her, but at least God had “heard” and granted her favor. Leah’s comments over the third son break my heart. At this point she decided that if she couldn’t have Jacob’s love, she’d settle for attachment. The children in her estimation would at least attach Jacob to her. Beloved, haven’t some of us done exactly that? If we can’t get a person to love us, have any of us ever tried to manipulate some way they’d at least be tied to us? I’ve seen this scenario played out countless times to varying degrees. I can think back on my own young life and recall times when I unknowingly did this very thing. With the birth of Judah, Leah finally—if temporarily—progressed to a place where God became the only sense in a senseless spiral, and she gave Him praise. If only Leah could have remained in the mindset of praise for all she had instead of returning to misery for all she lacked, how different her life would have been! Instead, she did what you and I have also done at times. She allowed circumstances (Rachel’s children through Bilhah and her own inability to conceive) to eventually catapult her back into the old mindset, and she picked up her familiar obsession again. Haven’t we had similar experiences? Has God ever brought you through a very painful process where you were finally able to think victoriously? Then over time did something happen to catapult you back into the old cycle of defeated thinking? Have we lost ground we worked so hard to gain? Let’s regain the freedom we lost! Our Liberator has not changed. Beloved, let’s allow God to show us our deepest desperation is for Him. The troubled child of desperation is obsession, but the healthy child of desperation is devotion. Our desperation will birth something. What will it be? Lord, please show me where my own desperation for love has led to obsession. I’m so thankful that Your aim is not to embarrass, humiliate, or shame me, but to deliver me from unhealthy obsession into to a place of devotion to You. Thank You for the kindness and tenderness You’ve shown me. I offer my heart to You, Father. Please break off any ungodly attachments I may have to lesser loves so that my soul is fully available to You. In the healing name of Jesus I pray, Amen. Adapted from The Patriarchs, by Beth Moore, pages 140-141. Nashville: LifeWay Press, 2005. Used by permission.
|