Free Rein

Scripture Reading: Job 10:1-2, Proverbs 14:10, 18:7

Today's Treasure: "I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul" (Job 10:1).

People who loathe their very lives can be difficult to bear. The words of Job shed some light on what motivates their self-hatred. Those who hate their own lives often exhibit the following behaviors:

They "give free rein to [their] complaints." People who loathe their own lives often complain constantly. No one can do anything right. Nothing suits or satisfies. If you are the object of someone's constant complaints, no matter how you've tried, God's Word says something important for you—the problem isn't that you can't do anything right. The problem is the complainer's tragic estimation that everything in his or her life is wrong.

They "speak out in the bitterness" of their souls. This specific sign exceeds complaining and proceeds to cutting. Many of us have been deeply wounded by words flowing from the bitterness of another person's soul. We've destructively rehearsed the cutting words repeatedly in our minds, allowing them to scar us almost irreparably.

What can you do? Perhaps wonderful healing could begin if you recognize the cause of constant complaining and cutting words. If you are the object of someone's ongoing meanness, you are not the problem. Job 10:1 illustrates how people who exhibit these two behaviors are suffering from a deep self-loathing.

Start praying for the person's release. They are in horrible bondage. Ask God to flood you with mercy. When you must be in their presence, ask Him to fill you with His Spirit. Through a supernatural empowerment only God can give, use gentle answers to turn away wrath (see Prov. 15:1). If you are in the person's frequent or constant company, seek sound counsel. You may need to work with a Christian counselor or support group to learn to deal with the situation.

As we pray for those who have injured us with esteem-damaging complaints and bitter words, let's not forget to pray for ourselves. We may develop some negative behaviors as a result of this situation.

Self-loathing can be contagious. Let's allow God to shed some light on our lives. Are we giving "free rein" to our complaints? Would others characterize us as complainers? Do we feel justified in constantly airing our negative opinions? Are we virtually impossible to please? Are we speaking out in bitterness of soul? Sooner or later if we're harboring bitterness, it will bubble to the surface. Let's allow God to bring healing to us even if the other person never changes.

We only have one life on earth to live. Let's not live it in loathing. A growing relationship with Christ is the cure. His is a life we can love.

Lord, thank You for helping me understand through Your Word why we do the things we do. Forgive me for soaking in my own negativity and splashing it onto those around me. I'm sorry for injuring others when I've spoken out in the bitterness of my soul. Please heal any wounds I've caused. Let my mouth speak blessings rather than curses. Instead of loathing my own life, I pray for a spirit of thankfulness and of love. Lord, when others hurt me with their destructive words, help me be as gracious and merciful as You have been to me. Amen.

Adapted from Whispers of Hope, by Beth Moore, page 143. Nashville: LifeWay Press, 1998. Used by permission.