When was the last time someone offended you?  Can you remember the time before that?  What about the time before that?  If you're like me, your flesh keeps a mental list of offenders and a tally of their offenses.  I can recall it in seconds.

When someone has offended me one too many times or when his or her offense is found on my "unpardonable" list, I often pull that old, bitter root out of my pocket and start chewing on it.  The taste and texture of the root are satisfying, so much so that it's hard to put down.  Rather than fading, the flavor becomes stronger by the minute.  It's increasingly difficult to stop chewing on the bitter root.  Before I know it, my eyes lose their shine, my lips curve downward and joy disappears from my day. 

Even though the root tastes good, it obviously poisons me.  I heard a wonderful Bible teacher say, "Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."  Ouch!  Why do I think bitterness will make my life better?  Why do I believe the lie that I can bring someone else to justice through my unforgiving spirit?

Most of the time I harbor bitterness deep inside me where it seethes and rots, and the person who offended me never even realizes it.  She goes about her day giving little or no thought to me and my bitter root.  She is not miserable.  She is not being punished by me.  My bitterness is pointless. 

Sadly, there are occasions when my bitterness and unforgiveness are obvious to the one who offended me.  Even after an apology I might withhold mercy just to maintain a sense of control.   

Have you ever been the one seeking undeserved forgiveness?  Do you remember how relieved you were to be shown grace?  Children of God should be very familiar with the delight of being forgiven.  God has forgiven our innumerable sins, our immeasurable debt.  Colossians 2:13-14 says, "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ.  He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross." (NIV) We are freed, accepted, even embraced by a loving God who reconciled us to Himself through the blood of His own Son.  We could spend eternity paying for the debt of our sins, but instead our debt has been cancelled and we are welcomed into the family of the One we offended.

In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells a parable about an unmerciful servant who was in tremendous debt to his king.  The servant begged his master not to sell him, his family and his belongings to pay off his debt.  He asked the king to be patient with him; he would pay back everything.  The master went beyond giving him more time to pay off his debt; he cancelled it completely. 

The Scriptures say the forgiven servant found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much lesser debt and demanded his payment.  he indebted servant pleaded for patience, but it was not granted.  He was thrown in jail until he could pay it back.  When the king heard his servant had treated another so unmercifully after he had been pardoned of a much greater debt, he had him turned over to the jailers and tortured until he paid back all he owed.  Likewise, unforgiveness tortures us.  Why?  One reason is because God won't let us get away with it.  It's too unlike Him.  The last verse says, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." (NIV)  God pushes the envelope so we'll be far more inclined to forgive.

Let us not be like the unmerciful servant and withhold forgiveness from others when we have been forgiven of a much greater debt.  Rather, let us honor God by demonstrating mercy and forgiveness to our own offenders.

© Copyright, Amanda Jones, 2002